646f9e108c In January 1942 US forces engaged an unidentified flying object above Los Angeles. Now almost 70 years later, the alien invaders have returned. I think I can now safely say that I&#39;ve seen the worst movie ever made. This piece of dreck from The Asylum takes the cake for the worst FX, incredibly bad acting, inane dialog and stupid premise.<br/><br/>An alien craft descends from space to hover over Los Angeles and begins destroying buildings. Four fighter jets which have no jet exhaust and are piloted by wooden indians, attack it, only to be destroyed. More fighters are scrambled from an airbase which is a bumpy dirt road and is commanded by an old guy with a gravelly voice who stands in the window of a ramshackle garden shed shouting into a microphone at his pilots about his &#39;beloved planes&#39;. A smaller alien spacecraft flies in and destroys the planes while the old gravelly voice guy stands on the runway and fires a chrome six-shooter at it, ala George C. Scott in &#39;Patton&#39;. This is all in the first 20 minutes. It&#39;s either ridiculous, or funny. It&#39;s not funny.<br/><br/>The debacle continues and along the way we are introduced to a female ninja military person who destroys alien spacecraft with her katana, a pilot from 1942 (complete with vintage fighter plane and leather helmet) who got lost for 68 years, an alien prisoner whose head looks like a greasy coconut, and a spaceship which was &quot;JFK&#39;s idea&quot; and is successfully piloted by a soldier who never saw the ship before, yet flies it with his mind.<br/><br/>The stupidity concludes when our heroes enter the mother ship and battle a huge snake-like creature with a gaping maw full of blue stalactites - the alien commander. They drop a grenade down it&#39;s throat and the mother ship crashes into the wreckage strewn suburbs of LA. The End.<br/><br/>I love bad movies but the SyFy channel has sunk to an all time low with this piece of junk. There is nothing to love here. Don&#39;t waste your time. 1/10 Yes, this is a terrible example of the craft but I don&#39;t always judge movies on the same curve. Yes, i rented it by accident and later saw &quot;Battle Los Angeles&quot;. Neither here nor there. I will remember this one always. Face it, &quot;Battle Los Angeles&quot; was no landmark either. But this one actually made me laugh out loud. From the dramatic reveal of the questionably impressive heroine, to the soldiers holding handsthey ran from an alien attack, this movie was a hoot. I&#39;ve seen a lot of bad movies but seldom gotten any real belly laughs at their expense. Sure, it&#39;s a total waste of time, but I could say that about probably eighty percent of the movies I watch and on the scale of stinkers, this one ranks near the top. My uncomfortable snickers of embarrassment for the cast and &quot;writer&quot; still countlaughs. One of my criterion for rating movies is if they show me something I&#39;ve never seen before, this one showed me several, mostly bad, but all laughable.
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363 weeks ago